Why You Couldn’t Pay Me To Be Single

I went to my high school prom without a date. There was no one picking me up in a limo, greeting me with a corsage, or standing behind me with his hand on my hip as we posed for quintessential awkward prom photos.

Despite the fact that I had fun, I felt like I was missing a fundamental piece of the prom experience, especially since I was one of five dateless people and that’s probably an overestimate.

Fast forward to present day. I’ve been married for almost 5 years and thankfully I have a solid Plus One. Don’t get me wrong, though. I’d be lying if I so much as hinted that every minute has been wedded bliss. There are moments I miss the freedom of being single, the thrill of the hunt, and a clean toilet. And of course there are moments best described with legal terms like “temporary insanity” because seriously, who puts their dirty socks on the coffee table?! But despite the fact that my husband is The Worst Roommate – not just the worst roommate I’ve ever had but the worst roommate that anyone anywhere has ever had – there is no amount of money you could pay me to go back to dealing with any of the following:

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