Bye bye, Bachelor…

With a new season of The Bachelor upon us, it’s with mixed emotions that I announce I will not be writing recaps this season.

I know, I know. This is shocking. Perhaps disappointing. Rest assured, dear reader (hi, Mom!), all previous recaps will remain posted for your nostalgic enjoyment because I can’t let them go that easily either. The Bachelor is my gluttonous pleasure. One of the few that doesn’t compromise my quarter-assed (the amount you can muster when halfed-ass is just too much) commitment to my fitness and nutrition efforts. In addition, The Bachelor is one of the few shows that I typically watch live. My 97%-full DVR appreciates this.

So if I love it so much, why give it up? I’ve narrowed it down to three main reasons…

It takes way too much time

Here’s some basic math. Even if you’re the person who hands off the dinner check to your friend so she can figure out how to incorporate the tip and also divide it up among the people who ate, the people who only drank, and the assholes who ordered extra apps without consulting anyone, you will be ok. Here we go.

  • + 2 hours watching the show, taking notes, and live tweeting
  • + 2 hours (minimum) re-watching the show online to grab screenshots to illustrate my witty points
  • +2 hours (minimum) writing, editing, formatting, uploading, and worrying if WordPress saved the latest version or if everything has been lost like a term paper at 1AM the night before it’s due

That’s a minimum of six hours of my life devoted to The Bachelor. Six. Hours. Chris Harrison doesn’t spend that many hours per week on The Bachelor and he’s on the show… Oh, and if it’s a week with a “very special two part episode,” bump that up to 8-10 hours. That’s just ridiculous.

My recaps were essentially “clickbait”


“shame…. shame… shame”

The keys to any “successful” website or blog are readership and engagement. I put “successful” in quotes intentionally because I truly believe everyone has their own definition of success and more than likely it evolves over time. I know mine has. In the past, building a “successful” blog meant having people read what I write. I had no desire to just share things in the ether and to avoid readership of one (hi again, Mom!), I tried to write about things that other people were interested in so The Bachelor seemed like an obvious choice. The franchise is huge and is comprised of a variety of HIGHLY engaged people, meaning live tweeting, recaps, viewing parties, merchandise, etc etc. Bachelor Nation… it’s real, folks. I’d be an idiot not to try to attach myself to something that could serve as a huge pool of potential readers. But even though that may be a solid marketing strategy, it lacks authenticity so moving forward, I’d rather have readership and engagement because my bitterly optimistic viewpoints resonate with you for some unfathomable reason. Even if it means fewer, less engaged readers.

There are other things I’d prefer to write about

I don’t get riled up over The Bachelor. I just don’t care that much. Sure, I like it. It’s fun! It’s become my escape recently along with cat memes and puppy gifs in the midst of the hateful shitstorm into which the world has devolved.

Photo by Warren Photography

But that’s exactly my point. If I’m going to spend six hours thinking, writing, and editing, shouldn’t it be focused on something that

1) riles me up


2) matters?

Ideally it will be both, but I make no promises.

So I apologize to those of you who thoroughly enjoyed my recaps. Admittedly, reviewing some of the older ones made me chuckle and immediately made me wonder, “Did i actually write that? That’s funny!” But it’s time for me to move on.

What do you think?

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